This post is for parents who have kids the age of 0 to 5 years olds. First of all, I want you to watch this amazing ted talk by a fabulous 7 years old, Molly Wright. After watching that video I felt scared and sad for the infants whose parents keep staring at the screens while their kids reach out to them seeking attention and engagement. For those kids, their parents are their everything, their safe home, and their best friends. Imagine you are trying to have a conversation with someone you Love, someone you depend on for your source of happiness and warmth, but they neglect you in times when you need them the most, they don’t make eye contact with you, and don’t engage with you when you want to engage. How does that make you feel? As an adult, we would feel frustrated, angry, and our relationship would take a hit with that person. Kids trust their parents drastically when their parents fail to support them in their needs when required.
Some parents treat their kids like a washing machine: Some parents give their kids food, leave them with a device, and then go back to their own digital life. After some time the kid potties, they tend to their kid, but then go back to their devices. It’s a cycle of bare minimum engagement for a long period of the hours they spend “together” and that’s exactly what people do with the washing machines when they do laundry. In a washing machine, we engage with it first when we put our clothes to wash, and then after we go back to our phones/work. We come back to it when it makes the beep sounds, we move the clothes into the dryer, and then after we go back to our phones/work. After the clothes dry, we go back for the final time to take the laundered clothes out. Technology has been shown to have a negative impact on language development, social, and emotional development, especially for kids 0-2 years. But what has helped language development and helped in establishing a social connection for 0-2 years old is to regularly skype with loved ones. (Check out Diana Graber’s Raising Humans in a Digital World: Helping Kids Build a Healthy Relationship with Technology). Nevertheless, Graber still stresses the importance of spending a lot of time with your kids and letting your kids feel boredom. Constantly stimulating the brain with what screens have to offer is setting up kids for a future with whether they will struggle to focus (lower attention spans). Yes Sir Ken Robinson talks about how kids just don’t pay attention when exposed to boring activities and seemingly endless talks, and rightfully it calls for improvement on the teaching and lesson planning side of the game. However, I still think that constant stimulation from the screens has an impact on the kids’ (and adults’) natural attention spans.
Another interesting video to watch is The Attachment Theory: How Childhood Affects Life
After watching the attachment theory video: what kind of child will your child grow up to be? After they grow up, what will they say about your relationship with them?
Some questions to think about:
Q1: How many hours in a day do you spend actually talking, playing, and caring for your child? Is your child being raised by a screen?
Q2: Do you give your child a device and leave them without engaging with them?
Q3: When your child cries, do they depend on a screen to pacify them or do they rely on you to pacify them? What does the answer to this question mean for your own relationship with your child?
Q4: If you have a child under 2 years of age, why do you think they need a device?
Q5: How often do you use your phone around your child? Are you on a phone while your child is asking you for help?